


Abandoned Identity

by Jacksonian



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Chloe Decker Finds Out, Depowered Lucifer, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Lucifer, Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) Needs A Hug, Mental Health Issues, Post-Season/Series 03, Romance, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2020-12-09 10:34:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20993375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacksonian/pseuds/Jacksonian
Summary: After the incident with Cain, God punishes Lucifer by making him human. Lucifer has to learn to live within his new reality and find out who he really is.





	1. It's all true

Chloe stared at Lucifer, the Devil, in horror. Her mind went blank as the red-faced monster staring at her shifted slowly back into her best friend. He was breathing fast, they both were, the shock of everything keeping both locked in place. His face was filled with pain and confusion and it looked, for a second, like he would bolt from the room but he kept her gaze. Chloe wanted to reach out to him, but a larger part of her wanted to run as fast as possible in the other direction, luckily, she didn’t have to make that choice as it was made for her.

Officers barged in, swarming the place with guns raised. They cleared the room, stepping on all Lucifer’s broken and bloodied feathers in the process. He felt numb as he watched the two uniformed officers in front of him start to pull Chloe toward the stairs. Words tried to escape him, to stop her, to explain but as he stepped forward another officer grabbed his wrist and started to cuff him. He was too numb to fight it. They would surely take him to interrogation where he would see Chloe again. He could explain it all to her then. He could apologize…

But they didn’t take him back to the precinct.

They took him to an IA and FBI temporary office and questioned him for hours. He did his best to explain the history of interactions with the Sinnerman without pulling any of his friends deeper into the fray. It felt like days later when they finally released him and allowed him to return to Lux with strict orders not to leave the city.

Several days later he would hear that the preliminary findings of their investigation ruled that Pierce’s death was the result of self-defense and protection of a fellow officer but there would still be test results that went unexplained on the final report. There were too many questions remaining for the FBI, but it was obvious that with such a prolific criminal dead they shouldn’t be looking a gift horse in the mouth, despite the curiosity aroused by the large trash bag of feathers.

~

After an officer dropped him at the front door to Lux, he ran to his underground garage and picked the closest vehicle, proceeding to race toward the Detective’s apartment. He couldn’t shake the panic that he felt when he thought of her leaving him, running from the visage of his darker side.

“Damn these delays, it’s like the M25 all over again!” Lucifer huffed as he sped in his car toward Chloe’s apartment. His heart was beating far too fast for comfort and his wings still ached from the bullets, but all that mattered was catching Chloe before she disappeared to some far off place like Bora Bora under a new name. He had to make sure that she was okay, that _they_ were okay.

She had not screamed or run when she saw him but then again, neither had Linda, and Linda had been essentially catatonic for two weeks.

He arrived at the apartment complex without knowing if he had obeyed a single stoplight. In a daze, he threw the car into park and jumped out over the edge, rushing to the familiar front door only to be stopped in his tracks by two huge golden wings.

“And where might you be going brother?” Michael planted both his feet solidly on the ground in front of Lucifer. Arms crossed over his chest; it was clear he was looking for a fight.

Lucifer, however, didn’t have time for a fight. “Get out of my way Michael,” he growled.

“Lucifer.” A voice from behind him spoke his name, eerily commanding. Lucifer whipped around and saw a large man similar in appearance to Idris Elba leaning against his car. Lucifer’s mouth dropped open as he stared openly at his father. “Lucifer, we need to talk.”

“You can do what you wish to me, as soon as I’ve spoken to Chloe. I need to see that she’s alright.” He turned and tried to go around Michael only to be grabbed by the collar of his suit jacket and dragged back around to face his father.

“She’ll be fine child. But you… you must pay the price for what you have done. Not even the best punisher in the world can commit such a crime and go unpunished.” The calm tone was only making matters worse. Everything inside Lucifer railed against the idea of standing here, taking punishment, for doing what he was trained to do, what he was _made to do _for so many eons.

“Well,” he spat angrily, “what are you waiting for? Send me back to hell then, you never cared about me anyway.”

“You know son, -“

“I’m not your son anymore!” Lucifer snarled over his father’s voice, the panic rising in him. Fear grabbed at his gut as his arms went cold. “You abandoned me.”

God continued on as though he hadn’t heard any interruption, “- I’ve been learning from the humans how to be a better father. It seems like when one’s child doesn’t respond to your initial punishment tactic, you must change it up a bit. So, I’ve decided –”

“Yes, yes, get on with it!” He struggled against Michael who continued to hold him facing his father. He tried to tear his gaze away but something stronger made him keep it. His father’s anger reflected back at him in those deep dark eyes. There was something deeply disturbing about the way his gut twisted in remembrance of his Fall.

“-To take away your toys and ground you until you learn your lesson.”

Lucifer almost laughed at the idea. “That sounds awfully familiar, isn’t that _WHAT HELL IS?”_

“No, this time, I think it would be best for you to stay on earth… Come Michael, we’re done here.” As his father walked away, Lucifer could feel something changing inside himself.

“I’ll be right there, sir, I’d like to talk to Samael for a moment, it’s been so long…” A chill traveled down Lucifer’s spine as his brother looked him over.

“Be quick about it.” Their father didn’t even glance back as he disappeared around the corner of the building.

“Of course, sir.” Their father didn’t see it but Lucifer could clearly see the manic darkness in Michael’s eyes. Mike had always been jealous of Lucifer’s “favorite” status but this looked like it was going to be more than just a talk. Luckily, Michael had never been unstoppable in a fight against Lucifer and he was likely a bit out of shape if the pudge of his gut was anything to go by.

Appearances can be deceiving.

The first hit felt like a ton of bricks to his abdomen and as his body flew through the air and smashed into a windshield, he realized fully what his father meant. A hand grabbed his ankle and yanked him off the car onto the asphalt, glass tearing into his skin and his leg throbbing in pain. He was no longer immortal. His body was not healing at all and every inch of skin scraping against the ground was on fire. He tried to seize Michael, but his grip wasn’t what it used to be, and Michael bent his fingers backward just for the fun of watching his brother crumpled beneath him. As he doubled over in excruciating pain, Michael ripped open his jacket, and in a skillful move known only to the archangels, he forcibly pulled out Lucifer’s wings. Hideous reptilian devil wings were yanked out over the curve of his back and before he could register fear of what he had become, his brother, his closest brother, ripped his right wing out of the socket and roughly severed the skin around it with an angel blade.

Lucifer released a bloodcurdling scream and suddenly the door nearby burst open. On his next inhale, his vision swam blurred in front of him, a slice and a terrible jolt of pain let him know the other wing had met a similar fate. Tears streamed down his face as his brother dropped him to the ground, collected the torn-up appendages, and took off for the Silver City leaving Lucifer to pass out, with a pool of dark red blood quickly forming below him.

~

Chloe heard the raised voices outside the apartment and looking out the window saw one of Lucifer’s beautiful vintage cars. She figured he would be entering soon so she had Trixie hide in her closet and she pulled her gun, ducking behind the counter in case the Devil barged in. She waited but he didn’t come barreling through the door as she expected. Instead she heard a loud scream come from outside and she threw open the door to see two men, _with wings,_ wresting in the parking lot. Lucifer, _her Lucifer_, was doubled over in pain trying to escape as another man dropped a bloody webbed wing onto the ground and began slicing into the wing on the other side.

She rushed forward gun drawn and yelling as loudly as she could, “LAPD, drop the knife!” He either didn’t hear her or couldn’t be bothered because he just finished his cut and with a lurch was pulling the wing off her best friend. “Noooooo! Leave him alone!” She was too late, he yanked it out and she had to watch as blood rushed out of Lucifer’s back. She pulled the trigger despite the innate feeling that nothing would happen and winced as the bullets didn’t even phase the monster in front of her. He turned without a single glance in her direction and disappeared in a rush of wind.

She dropped to the ground next to Lucifer, rolling him to his chest to put pressure on his wounds. Luckily, she had her phone in her pocket, she dialed 911 and called it in. “This is Detective Decker, we have a man down, I repeat, MAN DOWN, on 42nd and H St in the Heavenly Apartments. I need a medic ASAP, he’s bleeding heavily. Large knife wounds to his back.” When she looked down she realized that these wounds were exactly where his wing scars had been before.

“Stay with me Lucifer! Don’t you dare die on me! You have so many questions I need you to answer.” She did her best to put pressure on the open wounds, but it was obvious that the pain was overwhelming Lucifer as he moaned and tried to wiggle out of her grasp. “It’s going to be ok, I got you, help is on the way.”

“’Tective?” One eye blinked open at her sluggishly and she couldn’t help but smile at him. Despite everything that was being revealed, he was her friend. The one man who always supported her and protected her. Lucifer went fully limp in her arms and she feared the worst would happen. She kept the pressure against his wounds and whispered to him constantly as she waited for the ambulance to arrive. A thought crossed her mind that she could pray for him to live through this, but it was squashed by the sudden and painful realization that the reason Lucifer was hurt was likely another angel and there was no one she could safely pray to for help.


	2. Prodigal Son

Lucifer woke up in the hospital in severe pain, his head and his back were throbbing and he felt sick to his stomach. As he opened his eyes, all he could see was darkness surrounding him. It had never been this dark before, not for him, not for the angel who lit the stars. His eyes adjusted after a bit and he could see the outline of the hospital room door and the street light from around the sides of the window shade. _At least I’m not blind. I simply cannot believe this is how humans normally see the world, no wonder they constantly stub their toes in the night. _

A nurse came in at some point and let out a yelp when she finally realized that he was awake. He asked for his flask back, but no one would let him drink while he is still in the hospital, drugged up, and apparently ‘lucky to even be alive’. He tried to use his desire mojo on the nurse to no avail; it took two tries before he remembered that he was no longer a celestial being and thus could not bend others to his will as easily as he had in the past. _It is exhausting being human,_ he thought as he tried to find a comfortable spot on the hospital bed_. _He woke up again sometime in the afternoon to sound of his name being screamed in a high pitch voice.

“LUCIFER!” Beatrice ran up to the side of his bed, bouncing on her toes. “How are you feeling? Did the doctors make you all better?” Lucifer snorted and was about to answer when Chloe walked into the room and his mind went blank. _She looks as beautiful as ever. _

Chloe pulled her Spawn off the side of Lucifer’s bed, “Monkey, you need to be quieter and gentle with Lucifer! He just got out of surgery. He’s still hurting, and he needs to rest.” She sat down on the chair near the bed with Beatrice in her lap and reached out to hold Lucifer’s hand. He looked tired and in pain. His hand only lightly gripped hers, like he was expecting her to pull away at any second.

“But mom! Lucifer’s the Devil, he heals really fast!” Trixie bounced and smiled at Lucifer. Despite him being the Devil, she was still enamored with him and believed in his abilities. Too bad she was wrong.

“Not anymore Spawn, just listen to your mother.” Lucifer sighed and looked away from them out toward the window. Being reminded of how his own family abandoned him, repeatedly, was painful in its own right.

“I’m sorry they wouldn’t let us into the room sooner, you’ve been in and out surgery all night. And what do you mean ‘not anymore’? And Trixie, how did you know about Lucifer?” Chloe whispered, looking around to make sure that no one else was listening in. Trixie just stared at her like ‘duh’.

“My father took my powers and my …. My purpose” Lucifer whispered desolately, still looking out the window.

“Is that who was cutting off your – your wings?” Chloe grasped his hand tighter and tried to catch his gaze with hers.

“No that was my idiot brother Michael. He is not the most compassionate of my siblings and he decided that I didn’t deserve to have my wings anymore. Not that they would have worked properly without my grace. It’s just a reminder of my rejection from the family.” He didn’t mention in front of the child that his wings had warped into bat wings, monster wings, since the murder of Cain. It wasn’t relevant. They weren’t a part of him anymore.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Chloe asked gently, already knowing that he wouldn’t likely reach out for help but wanting to show him in any way she could that she would support him in his time of need.

“No.” A desolate Lucifer lay back on the bed, breathing shallowly. Each inhale felt unnecessary. If he could just stop breathing maybe he could move past this hell and back into the one he was more familiar with…

“Do you want to come stay with us for a bit? I’m sure you’d feel more comfortable away from the loud club, no half-naked men and women barging into your pants before you’re healed.” Chloe caught his gaze and looked deep into his eyes with as much honesty as she could. “Stay with me?”

“Why would you offer me your home? You were ready to run away from me… after everything that just happened. Knowing who I am. That I am literally the being most hated by God. I killed your fiancé. Why would you want me near you or your daughter?” The voices in Lucifer’s head sounded louder than normal, both the Satan worshippers sending him dark prayers and the voice that he recognized as his own, encouraging the darkness to consume him. He could see no way out. At least no method that the Detective would approve of.

“Lucifer...” She sighed. “Regardless of what you are, or were, you are my friend and I just _watched_ as your brother tortured you outside my apartment. What kind of ‘friend’ would I be if I ignored you now? How do you think I could leave you to suffer by yourself after everything that we’ve been through together?”

That’s exactly what he was thinking she should do. He was used to that kind of behavior from the humans and angels alike, why should this one be any different? She was so good and he … he wasn’t. He sighed and muttered, “I think it would be better if I returned to Lux. I wouldn’t want you to have second thoughts during the night. I’m sure it hasn’t fully sunk in yet that you were partnered with the actual Evil Incarnate.”

Chloe looked down at Trixie in her lap. The child was frowning at Lucifer, obviously wanting to correct his negative thinking but unsure how to help. Lucifer shut down and wasn’t listening.

“Maze will be here soon, but we will keep you company until then at least.” He refused to make eye contact, if she wished to stay with him that was her choice, her free will, but he wouldn’t impose himself on her in any way if he could avoid it.

~

Dan offered to take Trixie home with him and after a big bear hug to Lucifer, Trixie followed him out leaving just Lucifer and Chloe to rest. Given the number of drugs flowing though Lucifer’s system, she wasn’t surprised when he fell asleep next to her watching COPS on the TV in the hospital room. His head lolled toward her and she reached up to stroke his hair back from his head. He was so fragile looking in this state. She was still stroking the side of his head when she heard the door open and Maze slipped in.

“How’s he doing?”

Chloe stopped touching Lucifer and turned her full attention to Maze, “He’ll live, but he’s in a lot of pain.”

“He’d feel better if you went home and let him heal in peace.” Maze was back to her guard dog style, hands on hips, glaring at the whole room like it had personally offended her.

“He’s not a fallen angel anymore… he’s human. He can’t heal any faster than this.” Chloe put her hand back on the bed and slipped it under his to gently hold his fingers in hers.

Maze was shocked out of her mood, “What the hell, Decker? I leave him with you for one day and you’ve broken him!”

She looked up indignantly, “It’s not my fault his father –“

“His father?” Maze interrupted incredulously.

“Yeah, he and Michael came down and fought with Lucifer. It’s a miracle he’s even still alive.” She couldn’t help it, she took his hand in both of hers as she watched him continue breathing. Seeing him hurt _again_ had been difficult but knowing he had been hurt by _God_ and survived, well was a new level of scary.

“He’s lived through a lot worse than this. I’m sure the lava pits were excruciating,” Maze mused as she pulled a chair up to the other side of Lucifer and leaned against his railing.

Chloe was trying her best to live in the moment and _not_ remember that her best friend was the literal devil. These little reminders were making it difficult for her to keep her cool. Sudden flashes of his burnt face flickered through her mind until she looked back down at him. His sleepy sweating visage was an instant reminder that he wasn’t just the Devil, he was her friend, and he needed her. She took a deep breath (or six) before looking back at Maze.

“I guess I should be getting back home. Will you stay here with him until they release him? … Do you need any help getting him home?” Chloe stood slowly, her fingers lingering on his for a moment longer before she walked to the door.

“Don’t worry Decker, I’ll take care of him,” Maze whispered as she took Lucifer’s other hand and it seemed like the weight of the world settled on her shoulders.

~

Lucifer woke up very sore, with his back throbbing in pain. ‘_What I wouldn’t give for some drugs’_ he thought.

“Hey sleepy head, want some morphine?” Maze stood off to the side of his bed holding up a button attached to his bed frame.

Lucifer smirked at her as best he could given his situation, “When have _I _ever said “no” to some drugs?”

“That’s what I thought,” Maze pushed the button for his morphine drip and settled back into her chair. “So, I heard you had a fight with the arch-asshole, Michael? Looks he tore you two new ones this time around… At least he kept you top side… could’ve been worse.” As Maze looked him over she noticed how _old_ he suddenly seemed. It was as if his grace had sparked all his energy and without it he was … a regular adult.

“Mazikeen, I really don’t want to talk about arse-hole angels right now. Can we talk about something else?” He sighed as he pulled the blanket a little higher up his chest. It hurt to breath with the wrappings so tight around his ribcage and back, at least he couldn’t feel most of it.

“You never want to talk about the interesting stuff,” she muttered back, picking a knife out of her boot to play with while she sits.

“There’s a reason for that…. Where’s the Detective?” Lucifer glanced around the room and sank back into the cushions again with the realization that Chloe wasn’t hiding anywhere nearby.

“She had to go home last night. She stayed for a while though.”

“Is she… Is she scared of me?” Lucifer wasn’t making eye contact with her but she could tell that he was nervous for her answer. He fully expected Chloe to be terrified of the Devil, especially since those monstrous wings that were ripped from his back disturbed even him. “After what she saw, what I did… She knows I’m the Devil now.”

“I don’t think she was scared of you,” Maze replied slowly. “She was worried about you, that’s all. You almost bled out on her front step and she had to keep you from expiring in front of the tiny human.”

Another hour passed in silence before Maze couldn’t take the waiting any longer. She hunted down the nurse in charge and got an exception for early discharge from the hospital with a list a mile long on care instructions and proper drug dosing. Given that Lucifer was no longer an angel with super metabolism, he actually paid attention to the directions being given to him (which only further concerned Maze).


	3. Acceptance

Lucifer spent the next several days sleeping in Maze’s room at Chloe’s while Maze took his room at the Penthouse. It allowed her to manage the day-to-day operations of Lux, while avoiding seeing Lucifer weak and pathetic. And Chloe felt better having Lucifer close by, so she could take of him. Several days of constantly changing bandages and applying more ointment had left everyone a little cranky with cabin fever, luckily Beatrice was a source of constant entertainment for Lucifer.

“Beatrice, I’m boooored.” Lucifer complained from his spot, lying on his stomach across the couch.

“How about We Bare Bears? It’s about three bears that live like humans and go on adventures. It’s a pretty funny show.” Trixie grabbed the remote and flipped through options before going back to her drawings. She had taken to making pictures of Lucifer fighting dragons and unicorns to cheer him up.

“Ugh fine… as long as it’s not any more of those high school dramas.”

* Several hours later

Chloe came into the room and smiled as she caught the sight of Lucifer enraptured by the kids show. “Lucifer, you can change the channel, Trixie’s fallen asleep.”

“But, Ice bear is my favorite, and this is his origin story episode… I’ll change it after this one.”

“It seems like you’ve been cooped up here a little too long. How about we go visit the precinct and see Ella for a bit? I need to pick up some new case files to work on while we’re home.” Chloe ran her hand along Lucifer’s arm and squeezed gently, hoping she could get him back up and moving without too much drama.

Lucifer took a good look around. He was in a hoodie with Beatrice passed out against his arm. It was obvious that she was right so he gently got up from the couch and headed toward the bathroom to get cleaned up. He was finally able to shower properly without his back stinging and pulling on the stitches. _Healing as a human takes far too long._

~

“Hey Lucifer! How’s my favorite devil?” Ella hugged Lucifer as he walked into the lab and for once he allowed the hug without flinching.

“Miss Lopez, I’m doing fine but I should tell you, I am no longer the devil.” He leaned in and hugged her back, enjoying the comfort after such a long couple of days on bed rest. It felt good to receive some comfort from someone who didn’t expect him to anything more than himself. Obviously, she could feel the difference in the way that he responded and was immediately concerned for his mental well-being.

“What? Did something happen buddy? Why the sudden change?” She pulled out a lab stool for him and went to grab her own.

“You know that acting part you are always going on about?” He didn’t want to lie but he also knew that she wouldn’t believe the truth, that his father had ripped his celestial status from him. It was easier to lead Ella to a parallel truth using her own metaphors. He stared at the floor hoping that she would jump to conclusions so that he wouldn’t have to explain the painful truth.

“Oh buddy, you didn’t get it? I’m so sorry.” She rubbed a hand along his back and he whimpered a bit as his newly healed skin pulled awkwardly. She released him almost immediately but stayed inside his personal bubble with a hand on his arm. “I can’t believe that they wouldn’t hire you! You’re amazing.”

“Thank you, Miss Lopez.” He looked around for a way to change subjects, “Do you have anything for me regarding Chloe’s cases? I know I’m not allowed in the field but it’s been so boring lately.”

“Not quite yet, I’m still waiting for a couple of the tests to finish up. It’ll probably be another hour or so. But hey, I get it if you don’t want to talk about that sad stuff. Did you know it’s national Star Trek day today?”

“No, I wasn’t aware. How do you suggest we celebrate? Alcohol perhaps?” Lucifer smirked.

“Well if you spoke Klingon, I’d say you should join me for the pub crawl tonight but it’s going to be pretty nerdy and the rules are you can only speak in quotes or Klingon all night.“

**Then it’s a good thing that I can converse in many languages Miss Lopez. I’d love to join you tonight, if you’ll allow it.**

“Oh my god dude, you speak Klingon!?! **That is so cool, we are going to have an awesome night. It’s so nice to have someone I can talk to about this!**”

**My pleasure, darling. Is there a dress code for tonight?**

**No, just bring yourself and wear some Trekkie colors**

Lucifer watched contentedly as Ella proceeded to bounce around the lab in excitement.

Dan barged in just as they finished talking, “Hey Lucifer, can you… what are you guys doing?” He looked back and forth between them not understanding if he was having a stroke or if they were actually speaking some foreign language in front of him.

“Just finalizing plans for an interesting evening, Daniel. I would elaborate, but I’m sure it’s outside your range of viewing pleasures.” Lucifer smiled but his fun at excluding the other man was short lived.

“Dude, why not invite him too? You never know. I wouldn’t have pegged you for a Trekkie.” Ella nudged him in the ribs, she was also so polite it was hard not fold immediately.

Leaning in with a smirk, he remarked “I am not a Trekkie per se, just multilingual and always open to a good time.”

Dan cut them off, thankfully, before they got around to inviting him to the party. “Whoa, no, leave me out of the nerdy sci-fi conventions. But seriously man, I need your help with something in the kitchen. Come on.”

“Thank you for cheering me up, Miss Lopez, I hope you have a good day.” Lucifer smiled as he bowed out the door behind Dan.

“I will Lucifer, and I’ll see you later,” Ella yelled as she bounced on her toes.

~

Once they were securely in the kitchen with no apparent danger for Lucifer to deal with he spoke, “Ok how can I help you, Daniel?”

“Can you grab that pack of labels off the top shelf?”

“Seriously Daniel?” Lucifer rolled his eyes.

“You’re the tallest guy here, and it’s the least you can do since I use them to mark out which yogurt is mine. “

Lucifer mutters as he reaches up to the labels, “– you’d be safer not marking it.”

“I heard that. And I know. I left two unmarked ones and you never ate those. So I just started bringing in extra under the assumption that you’d eat mine.” Dan crosses his arms and smirks at the surprised look on Lucifer’s face.

Lucifer gathers his composure as quickly as possible, “Well, I did reciprocate, did I not?”

“Offering up your body for sex doesn’t count.” Dan looks both repulsed and annoyed as he reaches for the labels only to have Lucifer pull his hand back in insult.

“I meant the yogurt money I left in your wallet,” Lucifer sneered “I’m not an animal.”

“That was you?” Dan side eyed him.

“Yes, who else did you think leaves hundies in your wallet?” Lucifer preened.

Dan’s ears burned as his answered embarrassed, “I thought maybe I got black out drunk and moonlit as a stripper or something…”

“…Or something Daniel? How often does that happen?”

“Shut up.”

“Here’s your labels then.” Lucifer sighed and put passed over the package.

“Thanks man…” Dan gave him a quiet side look, “are you okay?”

“Of course I am,” Lucifer huffed.

Dan could see right through him, and for some unknown reason felt the need to reach out to the other man. “I mean really…. I can’t believe your own brother sent you to the hospital. Do you want to I don’t know, go grab lunch or something?”

“You mean talk? You want to talk … with me? … About feelings?”

Dan snorted incredulously, “No man, I want to eat a burrito and sit in silence like men.” [AN: Real men talk it out. Don’t let that macho shit mess you up. But Dan takes a while to get this memo.]

Lucifer was shocked, “Oh… in that case, yes, lets get burritos.”

They sit in silence, eating, for about 10 minutes before Dan feels compelled to break the silence.

“I am still mad about you about Charlotte. You could have stopped Pierce if you’d just told us that you knew he was the Sinnerman. She was risking her life all alone trying to gather evidence against him and you didn’t help her.”

“Daniel, I wasn’t aware that she even knew. I thought I was alone and that no one would believe me. For what it’s worth, I wish there was something I could have done to save her.”

A pensive silence permeated the remainder of their meal and when Lucifer and Dan walked in together in complete silence. Chloe almost lost her eyebrows into her hair at the sight. She’d had no idea when they started getting along but it was a both weird and relieving sight.

Chloe waited until Lucifer was settled into his chair before approaching him again. “How are you feeling? Is your back bothering you at all?”

“I’m fine darling, just a little annoyed at Daniel, that’s all.”

“Anything I can do to make you feel better?” Chloe winked at him trying to draw out his playful side. If she could just get him to relax, maybe things would be back to normal.

“Actually…”

“I was joking Lucifer, we are not having sex in the supply closet.”

Lucifer’s mumbled voice interrupted her rant. “Will you settle for a kiss?”

She glanced up at him only to see his head was bowed and he was picking a piece of lint off his slacks. They did have a moment prior to that whole Pierce fiasco. She had kept him safe and nursed his wounds after his family fight. But was she ready to move back into _something_ with a guy like Lucifer? She took a breath and tried to sense her own feelings. She stood up as though to leave but swooped as she passed him and planted a kiss on the side of his head and headed toward the restroom. Lucifer kept his head ducked but a blush slowly crept up his neck against his will. When she returned, he was back in Ella’s lab watching carefully as the scientist readied evidence for lab testing.

* Several hours later

“Lucifer, it’s time to head home. Are you done in there?” Chloe leaned into the lab watching as Lucifer with goggles and gloves on poured something into another beaker.

“Just a moment darling, we’re doing SCIENCE!”

He looked like a little kid in a candy shop, mixing chemicals as Ella patted him on the shoulder and praised his good work. Chloe stood watching him for a while before he and Ella finally packed up the lab and they all headed out.


	4. Self-Doubt

Lucifer seemed to be doing well enough, adjusting to his life without wings again and this time without his devil abilities but a part of Chloe was honestly missing the weird devil jokes that he used to partake in so frequently. Chloe, meanwhile, was having difficulty adjusting to the whole “God is real” thing and kept asking strange questions.

“So … reincarnation?”

“Real, but not for everyone.”

“Santa”

“Fake, but based on a real man.”

“Archangel Gabriel?”

“Detective, maybe we should focus on the case?” Lucifer smirked, avoiding any detail of his actual family.

Chloe walked toward the car, still lost in thought, “Right, you’re right. Let’s go interview the ex-girlfriend....”

Lucifer sighed as he followed, safe for now, but undoubtably she would seek the answer to more questions about his family, more questions about his fall and how evil he really is. He wasn’t looking forward to the day she realized that he wasn’t worth her time and … and her affection.

~

Throughout the case Lucifer struggled with not being able to woo information out of the witnesses. They were at one point locked out of a building that he would normally just “find unlocked” and now they had to wait on a warrant from the judge before they would be able to follow up. They had been on the case for six days before they finally had a suspect in custody and the pressure of closing the case was not sitting well with the team. Chloe, in particular, felt as though she were being pushed to the limits of her patience by her grouchy friend.

“Lucifer, would you please just join me in this interrogation? I would appreciate having my _partner_ with me to work through this.” Chloe glared at the man who adamantly refused to leave his desk chair.

“What’s the point? I’m useless in there without my grace.” Lucifer threw his pen at the ceiling but it just bounced off, without telekinesis he was having a hard time getting anything to stick in the ceiling tiles properly. He pouted and refused to look at the Detective directly; he felt terrible. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he should just go home and leave her to catch all the bad guys herself.

“What happened to my partner? The one who used to swagger into any situation with a give ‘em hell attitude?”

“I’m not him anymore, I’m not the bloody Devil! I’m just me. I am a human now; I bleed, I cry, I hurt. What more do you want from me?” Lucifer ran his hands through his hair in frustration, curls sticking up all over. His eyes were stinging with unformed tears of frustration.

Chloe reached out to grasp his forearm and sighed, “I just wanted you to try… you have a way with people even-“

“Well I CAN’T!” Lucifer huffed, “I don’t have my ‘mojo’ … and no one wants me around anymore.” He looked left and right around the precinct. Chloe wondered if he had an even more serious secret to share with her besides his devil side. “I haven’t even… you know… since… nevermind. You don’t care. You just want the eggs and now I’m an **_eggless chicken_** ready for the slaughter.” He became more depressed at the thought that she only used him for his powers. His heart was aching with the longing for her to disagree, but he interpreted her expression as only exasperation rather than understanding.

“Lucifer –“she started.

He cut her off harshly, “No I get it, you don’t have to make yourself any clearer. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he stormed off muttering under his breath “if you’ll still have me then.”

“Lucifer wait!” Chloe yelled across the bullpen. Part of her thought to chase him but the larger part was frustrated that he was not giving her the benefit of the doubt. Chloe knew she should have said something to him to correct his obviously wrong thinking about how useful he was without powers but he was just being overdramatic, right? He couldn’t really think she didn’t want him around, they were partners. She resolved herself to talk with him later about it. Sometimes he was so sensitive about the weirdest things.

She turned away and went back to focusing on the case, if Lucifer wasn’t able to get a confession then they would need a lot more evidence to get this through a trial. Chloe managed to work for another hour before she felt his absence too strongly to be comfortable. She left work early, picking Trixie up from school and surprising her with a change in plans for the night. She’d received a message from her friends at Lux letting her know that Lucifer was moping around his penthouse. Hoping that his lack of powers would correlate to a lack of naked bodies in his bed, she and Trix picked up hamburgers and fries for dinner and drove over to Lux.

“Is Lucifer still hurt mom?” Trixie picked at a hole in her pants as she tried to figure out the strange mood her mother was in. Quiet and contemplative but obviously a bit distressed as well.

“Yeah Monkey, his back is still hurting him, and I think he’s a little sad that people were so mean to him.” _Especially me, _she thought to herself. She really hoped Lucifer would let them inside and allow her to apologize for her behavior.

“That’s why we’re going to go cheer him up right?”

“Yeah kiddo…”

“That’s good, he can’t be sad when we bring him dinner and Monopoly.”

**Meanwhile…**

Lucifer sat in a lounge chair on the balcony contemplating his new mortality. If he were to dive over the edge, where would he go? Would he be trapped in a Hell Loop like a normal human or would he be required to rule it again, possibly sans powers? How would that even work?

He would never be able to return Mazikeen to their home in Hell either. Without his wings they were trapped here and while death might send him to hell, there would be no afterlife for Maze.

She was going to be _pissed_ when he got around to telling her. If she didn’t figure it out on her own first and kill him for it.

He could feel the weight of his life on his chest making him tired and numb. Breathing was becoming a chore. He flipped a cigarette around in his fingers, missing the way he used to be able to do it with telekinesis. _Really missing that power. _The lack of horny women was fine, the super strength wasn’t needed all that often, immortality had been waning for a while but the telekinesis and the desire mojo. That was a big part of his Luciferness. Who is Lucifer without his ‘Luciferness’, just some egocentric asshole with money?

He stood and lit the cigarette, staring out over the city.

“LUCIFER!”

The little spawn wrapped herself around his waist grinning up at him and he couldn’t help himself, he grinned back. She was so young and full of life. He rubbed his hand along her back before pulling away. _Best not to think about death around the little one. _“What are you two doing here?”

“We brought you dinner and games!” Beatrice bounced up and down while Lucifer watched Chloe smile at him and disappear into the kitchen. “And…” Beatrice pulled him down by the arm to whisper in his ear, “I thought you might need a friend right now. I know it sucks not having your powers anymore.”

Lucifer tilted his head and looked at her in surprise.

“It’s okay to be upset Lucifer, I won’t tell anyone you have sad feelings. You can be whoever you need to be. You’ll always be my friend.” She pat his arm as though she were some sage old woman rather than a ten year old child.

“Beatrice… I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me… in a very long time.” He let her hug him one more time before they both turned and went inside.

“Monkey, go wash your hands before dinner.” Chloe stood at the dining table, setting out food, patiently waiting for Lucifer to approach.

“Yes, mom.”

“Lucifer…” She walked up to him since he had stopped at the balcony’s entry.

“Detective, I’m sorry I yelled earlier.” Lucifer bowed his head, he was grateful for the food, and the company. He didn’t’ want to do anything to make her leave him again.

Chloe leaned into his space and bumped her head against his bowed one. “I’m sorry I pushed. I was being insensitive.”

“It’s okay,” he whispered.

“No, it’s not. I just want us to go back to the way we were. I miss when you were playful and … incorrigible.” She smirked at him, using her head to nudge his upward as she gave him a bit of space.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s like…. There’s this dark cloud in my head. I can’t see. I want to be fun, but I’m just **_not_ **right now. I don’t know who I am anymore.”

“This is not you. This is depression clouding you. It affects a lot of us Lucifer, you just have to remember you’re not alone. I’m here. I’ll always be here when you need me. And you have Ella, and Linda, and Trixie. Any one of us would be here for you in a heartbeat. All you have to do is ask.”

“I can’t keep fighting this,” he mumbled, feeling the deep darkness rising again in the back of his mind.

“I know how you feel, but you don’t have to deal with it alone. Talk to me. Get it off your chest.” She pulled him over to the couch and sat, tugging him gently until he sat down next to her. She slipped her hands against his face, gently coaxing him to make eye contact. “We are here because we care about you.”

He closed his eyes and leaned into her, resting his body weight on the hands caressing his face.

“We love you, just the way you are. Just like this. I love your mind, not your superpowers. The way you make me laugh and the way we work together, and the way you listen to Trixie even though you say you don’t like kids.”

“Beatrice is wonderful and very, very, intelligent.” Lucifer pointedly ignored the ‘love’ comments, he didn’t feel like he deserved them despite the obvious showing from the girls.

“See. You’re a good man. You have a good heart.”

He mumbled something about his reputation into her palm, still reveling in her warmth on his face.

She laughed.

Trixie watched the moment, smiling, and then bounced over to the couple, waving a fry in front of Lucifer’s face. “It’s dinner time, come on!”

Chloe leaned forward and kissed him gently on the nose, “Come on, you don’t want Trixie eating your share of the fries.”

“She wouldn’t!” He pretended to be scandalized.

Chloe shrugs and sure enough the fries look disproportionally split into three groups.

*

After dinner Beatrice pulled out the last of her homework while Chloe and Lucifer sat on a couch shoulder to shoulder, flicking through the Netflix list.

“Do you want to talk about what you’re going through?” Chloe glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, trying not to put too much pressure on him. He’s basically famous for running from his problems and she’d rather not have to chase him down.

“It’s not a fun subject Detective. Let’s not ruin the moment.” Lucifer studiously avoided her eyes.

“I’d rather ruin one moment now, than let you keep feeling like this. I keep telling you I’m here for you. “

“Please.”

_Damn that ‘please.’_ It was the same he’d used on her when she first saw his wing scars. She warred with herself for a moment before giving in. “What would you prefer to do then?” she sighed.

“I started reading a book this morning, you might like it. It’s about a king’s niece who has the power to kill but she wants to do good and start a revolution. Have you read it?”

She listened intently as his voice wavered and touched his arm gently, as she would do for Trix if she were having the same conversation, “No, I haven’t heard of it. Why don’t you read it to me?”

Lucifer looked at her in surprise, He had never shared his reading time in such an intimate way with someone. She gazed up at him, waiting. “Alright.”

He leaned over the side of the couch for his book and moved his bookmark back to page 1, reading slowly and clearly as Chloe relaxed into her couch cushion watching him read. Beatrice quickly finished her math and joined them in the living room, making herself a pillow pile on the floor and listening intently to the heroine’s story. Monopoly sat forgotten (at least for now) on the counter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Book: Graceling by Kristin Cashore
> 
> This book surprised me as being one of the few recently that I could not put down and I think there are aspects to it that someone like Lucifer would really enjoy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been trying to make this better but I give up. Have a chapter.

Lucifer booked his next therapy appointment with Chloe so that they could both talk about all the changes going on in a “safe environment”. Chloe was scheduled for the first hour with Linda to discuss the _actual devil_ and get advice on coping with Heaven and Hell being real. Lucifer waited outside the room. To an outsider it would look like he was very intently playing one of those matching games but in his head, in his head he was lost in thought. Meditating perhaps. If you could call being drowned in emotion and trying to not panic some form of meditation. Every time a worry popped up he tried to bury it again. Like bad-thought whack-a-mole.

After about 15 minutes his brain settled into a generalized feeling of anxiety but at least it was being quiet.

He didn’t _want_ to think about what the Detective could be saying.

Or think about how Maze had been avoiding him as though he had leprosy.

“Lucifer. Lucifer. Hey,” his brain registered his name and he looked up to see Linda smiling at him. “Come on in, it’s your turn.”

He swallowed heavily before entering the office and sitting on the couch next to Chloe, whose red rimmed eyes stared at him in concern.

“Lucifer, Chloe has brought up some concerns about your well-being. Would you mind talking me through how you’re feeling and what you’re doing to cope with all these changes in your life?” Linda leaned back in her chair, mentally preparing for how to help Lucifer with his … emotional constipation.

“It’s like I’ve died. Or at least a part of me did. And now I must learn how to be _me_ and it’s warring with the habits of who I am used to being. I can’t be that same person without my devil powers.”

Linda looked at him in shock. “That’s good Lucifer. I’m really proud of you for opening up about this. Can you tell me more?”

Lucifer stared at his shoes trying to find the words, “What’s my purpose? I can’t run Hell anymore. I can’t –“

“Wait, just a second. You haven’t run hell for years now, so that’s not actually who you are.”

“Well I am a punisher of evildoers,” he sighed dramatically.

“Yes, and you do a great job of catching criminals with the LAPD.”

“Not anymore”

“What do you mean?” Chloe interjected, startled.

“I can’t … they won’t confess anymore. And I can’t use my mojo to earn favors. I’m slowly becoming… obsolete.” Lucifer picked at imaginary lint on the knee of his pants.

“You are not obsolete! You’re my partner. I need your help thinking up ideas and understanding motivations for people. You’re very useful, if annoying.” Chloe smiled at him, though he couldn’t see it. His focus was still on his slacks.

“You’re just saying that.”

“Don’t be childish. I don’t need to boost that giant ego of yours, but you are amazing… and kind, and caring, and generous.” He felt her nudge against his shoulder playfully.

“Do you two want to talk about your new relationship?”

“If you think it’s best…” he trailed off, looking to Chloe for guidance.

“Ok, so I know that there’s a lot of tension between you based on perceived feelings, and you’re both a little off base. So I wanted to start by having you tell each other what you like about one another. What makes the other person special and worth pursuing. Not superfluous things like abs or breasts or money. Real personality traits or habits please. Lucifer do you want to continue what Chloe has already started?”

“I like that she doesn’t… she isn’t…” He mumbles some garbage in a rough language and makes a sideways hand gesture not known to humans. “I don’t know how to describe it.”

Chloe looked at him, confused. “Well I like that Lucifer always supports me. No matter what. He tells me to follow my instincts and lets me lead when we’re on a case.“

“She leads me.”

Linda sighed in exasperation, “Lucifer, no, you can’t just- “

“-- No I mean to say that she doesn’t follow me like everyone else does. She leads. She is the dominant partner in our … partnership. I like that.” He blushed slightly and looked down, it felt strange to be embarrassed but stranger still to follow a human around like a lost puppy.

Chloe smiled and continued, hoping not to lose the momentum. “He defends me, even when he doesn’t need to. He encourages me to trust my instincts and myself.” She nudged him again.

Lucifer whispered, “She’s always so gentle and protective.”

“He says whatever’s on his mind, he doesn’t hold back.”

He looked up sharply, startled out of his contemplative mood, “I thought that’s what annoyed you about me?”

She smiled at him and laughed, leaning into his side briefly and kissing his cheek. “It’s both.”

They continued on for a few more minutes before discussing more about their plans and goals. Chloe slowly shifted on the couch to lean more heavily on Lucifer’s side and by the end of it he had wrapped an arm around her and was caressing her side absentmindedly. _This is nice_, he thought to himself.

~*~

Dan and Lucifer sat in the center of the mall, waiting for Chloe and Trixie to finish picking out some dress or outfit for Trixie’s upcoming award ceremony. It was Dan’s week and Trixie had forgotten to warn her parents about the upcoming event until the last minute, so here they were, stuck … waiting, which was infinitely better than being dragged around inside the shop.

“Hey Lucifer…”

“Yes, Daniel?” Lucifer kept his eyes forward, not sure where this was going but trying to remember to play nice.

Dan turned on the bench and looked solidly at him, “How did you really get that antidote? When Chloe was poisoned. You saved her, but I never bothered to ask how.”

Lucifer sighed and without looking up, responded as truthfully as he could, “I used the hospitals shock paddles to kill myself, went to hell, found the scoundrel’s Hell loop, and got the formula from him. Linda and Maze brought me back with some help from Charlotte, and I gave the doctors the recipe.”

“So…You died.”

“Yes.”

Daniel turned away, contemplating, though where it was about the validity of the statement or something else, Lucifer couldn’t tell. “…And with Malcolm?”

Lucifer shrugged, “Yes, I died then as well. But that wasn’t exactly by choice…”

“Do you love Chlo?”

“More than… more than anything in the universe Daniel. She’s my North Star.”

“And what about Trixie?”

“What about the little urchin?”

“If you hook up with Chloe, what about my daughter? Are you going to neglect her? Yell at her? What if she – “

“Daniel, you have nothing to worry about. I care for Beatrice, I won’t let any harm come to her either. I could never replace you, you don’t have to worry about that. And discipline… well that’s obviously more of a Chloe thing don’t you think?”

“You love Trixie!?!”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Of course he loves me! He lets me climb all over him, see?” Trixie bounded up the arm of the bench and onto Lucifer’s shoulders.

“Little Hellion,” he muttered, whether in greeting or exasperation, it was hard to tell.

“But I’m your favorite hellion right?” She whispered, peering over the top of his head at his face.

He leaned forward so she toppled and he caught her, swiftly righting her out of the impromptu front flip. “Of course you are child, just don’t tell Maze you’ve usurped her. She would be quite upset.”

“It’ll be our secret.”


	6. Trixie Rocks

Days passed with Lucifer becoming more comfortable with his new humanity and simultaneously more comfortable with his new role in Chloe’s family. On a particularly paperwork-filled day, he took the opportunity to go pick up the urchin rather than stay and, _I shudder to even think it,_ fill out reports.

As he pulled up in his convertible in the School Parking Hell Line the little one jumped over the door and started to buckle her seatbelt. “Hello urchin, how was school?”

“Hi Satan! It was good, but there was this girl who was being mean to me.” He glanced over to see Beatrice staring over the side of the car at the houses passing by.

“Well,… Did you kick her in the no no zone?” He inquired, hopeful that the little hellion had done more than that this time around.

Trixie looked up at him with a sad puppy dog face, “Mom said not to do that anymore…”

“Would you like me to take care of this bully problem? Or Maze perhaps?” They turned the corner toward Lux, his mind racing with possibilities but as quickly as he thought of them, the “Chloe-voice” in his head shut them down.

“No it’s okay. It’s not that big of a deal,” the child murmured.

He pulled over the car and turned to look at her, waiting until she made eye contact. “Anything that bothers you, bothers me. Now let’s come up with a plan of attack. It doesn’t have to be violent to be effective.”

“It doesn’t?”

That small hopeful look hooked it’s claws into Lucifer’s heart. “Of course not! Some of the best torture is purely psychological. Now, let’s see your angry face. Maybe you just need to be more… scary?”

“Rawr!”

“No, no, that won’t do! What _has_ Maze been teaching you? We’ll have to work on it...” He looked around thinking of something he could do without his actual Devil face. “Here, do this with your eyebrow, yes, yes! Just a bit higher. Good. Now drop one side of your face, yes. Now deeeeep growl. No, no, deeper. Like how your mother snores…. There you go! That’s a fair bit intimidating. We’ll keep practicing and you can scare the pants off that other miscreant on Monday morning.”

“Thanks, Lucifer,” said Beatrice with no small amount of awe and appreciation.

“Don’t mention it.” He put the car back into drive and continued on to Lux.

“No really. Thank you. No one else… no body else would help me with stuff like this. I’m just a kid.”

“Never think that way Spawn, you are bright and strong, and the only urchin I have any affection toward. That makes you special. Being a child has nothing to hinder you with besides having a bedtime and a temporary height impediment.”

-

The elevator dinged. Chloe entered the penthouse of Lux to hear music blaring and her child singing at the top of her lungs. Said child ran into the room dancing and singing, saw Chloe, and took off back toward the bedroom.

“Come back, you tiny demon!” Lucifer rushed out the bedroom and caught Trixie spinning her in the air using her own momentum. As he was about to chuck her onto the couch he caught sight of Chloe and almost tripped. He slowly, gently set Beatrice feet first down on the ground. They shared a look and took off in separate directions.

“Lucifer! What are you doing!?!” Chloe yelled from the entryway, trying her best to keep the laughter out of her voice.

“Nothing” came the response from two different directions.

Chloe shook her head and took off her jacket setting it on the hook by the exit. She slowly kicked off her shoes and started stalking quietly around the penthouse. She could hear Trixie giggling from behind the couch. _Hide and seek it is._

She peeked around the corner of the bedroom wall taking in the disarray and the clothes one the floor. If she didn’t know better, she’d be concerned. Her cop brain jumped to dark thoughts for a second before her logical brain decided it was probably a fashion show of some kind. Trixie _was _wearing a tie just a minute ago. She scanned the room and the closet entrance from her position looking for any hint of her boyfriend.

Something glittered in the window. She could just make out his reflection in the glass where he was pressed against the base of his bed. She took two quiet steps and pounced.

“Ahhhh” Lucifer bolted away from the bed as Chloe flung her arms over the side and tickled him.

“Run!” Trixie yelled from the couch as she darted to a new hiding spot.

Chloe slow blinked at him where she had him cornered and his shoulders dropped from his playful pose. She reached slowly toward him and he stepped into her embrace, kissing her solidly. He picked her up from the waist and lifted her to the bed again, never breaking the kiss.

“Ewww, Lucifer! I thought it was OUR time for our fashion show! You two can be gross later. Plus, I’m not ready for mom to see yet.”

“I’ll distract her, you go change.” He barely looked up before he went back to kissing Chloe’s lips, and neck, and whispering in her ear. “I missed you darling.”

She whispered back, “Have you two been having fun?”

He nuzzled into her neck, “She had some issues with a bully at school earlier, so we’ve been… bolstering her self-confidence.” He leaned up and said loudly, “Are you quite done yet?”

“Lucifer,” a shaky voice responded from the closet. “I need a little help.”

“Of course, darling,” he slid off the bed with a wink to Chloe he snuck into the large closet and took a look at the child in front of him. She had a beautiful dress on and shoes that were just a tad too large, but her hair was all askew.

“it won’t stay up,” Beatrice whispered, trying her best not to let Lucifer see her red, watery eyes.

“Not a problem urchin, let me just –” he reached out and … couldn’t use his telekinesis to fix it. He took a deep breath, settled himself, and gently turned her instead. His nimble fingers were quick to sort out the strands and twist them into a braided bun. He spun her back around and gave her an appraising look. “Perfect, now go on, show off to your mother.”

He shooed her away as he took another deep breath. Looking at his hands, nothing was different, but nothing was _easy_ either.

He stepped out of the closet to see Chloe and Beatrice dancing to his party playlist and he couldn’t help but smile. _Maybe the trade off is worth it if this is the reward for my pain._


	7. Living without Powers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this chapter. I kept trying to edit it and it never quite felt right. Oh well.

Lucifer slipped into a life of domesticity with little fanfare. Months passed and after many, many therapy sessions he felt like he was finally adjusting to being human.

“Lucifer! Have you seen my purse?” Chloe shouted from the living room.

“I put it in the closet, on the hook, darling,” he responded calmly while tying up his shoes.

“Why would you move it?” Chloe sighed, irritated and in a rush. She was already late for work and didn’t have time to deal with this. Lucifer’s calm demeanor was making it worse. _Why couldn’t he just leave her stuff alone?_

“It was on the table when we went to bed last night and it does not belong there, it goes on the hook.” He gathered his keys from the counter and waited patiently while Chloe rushed by in front of him.

“You’re going to make me late!” she growled.

“What’s wrong with putting it where it goes?” He wasn’t quite sure how this became his fault, but many things these days were confusing for him.

“That’s not where I left it. So, when I go to grab it, I have to hunt it down to wherever the hell you moved it. You need to communicate more!”

_“_How is this my fault!?!_” _And before he could think it through, his mouth opened and words spilled out. “You need to put your damn things away!”

“ARRRGH” Chloe stormed out and drove to the precinct too cool off in her own vehicle.

~

Hours later, Chloe walked through the penthouse quietly, noting the cleanliness and the somber atmosphere. She could see Lucifer out on the patio, staring up to the night’s sky. She had dropped Trixie off with Dan and gone out to eat dinner alone. She hadn’t talked to Lucifer all day, but he hadn’t reached out to her either.

She leaned against the rail next to him, “You didn’t come to work today.”

Lucifer stayed silent, face pointed to the sky. His eyes closed slowly.

“I missed you,” she hedged.

“I thought you wouldn’t want me there,” he replied, unmoving.

“Luce, just because we had an argument doesn’t mean that I don’t still love you and want you around. I was upset. We had a miscommunication. Given how often that happens to us, I thought you would just – you know, show up at work like nothing happened?” She realized a little late that she was waving her hands around like a crazy person and shoved them into her pockets.

Lucifer hadn’t noticed. He looked deep into her eyes and muttered, half to himself, “You still want me around?”

“Yes, you dork, of course I do!” She pulled him down by the back of his head and kissed him soundly on the lips. “And I think you owe me dinner for standing me up at the crime scene.”

“Are you sure there’s nothing else you’d rather I do to make up for my absence?”

She glanced down his body slyly, “That would be a reward for you. This is closer to retribution. How about we go to that Mexican food place where suits are banned and discuss what happened this morning?”

He made a face like he was about to walk into his own hell loop.

“Okay, afterward, maybe, we can talk about having make up sex.”

Lucifer smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was obviously still concerned about their disagreement and it’s affect on his future.

He shouldn’t have been.

Dinner was a calm affair and they both apologized for the miscommunication and promised themselves and each other that they would be conscious of each other’s motives. Chloe spent half of the meal with Lucifer’s hand in hers, playing with his fingers and gently rubbing the back of his hand. Lucifer trapped her foot in between his held it through most of the meal. Food was passed between them freely each trying the others choice.

By the end of the night Lucifer had relaxed enough to share his secret with Chloe.

“I’m a clean freak,” Lucifer blurted out.

Chloe snorted, surprised, “You’re many kinds of freak. But yeah, you do like everything clean.”

Lucifer pushed his empty plate away, thinking about how to explain, “It’s because… well… Heaven is clean and Hell is very much… chaos. It makes me feel calmer when I can control how clean the house is and … and I can’t sleep when I think it’s messy.”

“That makes a lot of sense actually, thank you for sharing that with me. I guess I’m different because as a mother I’ve gotten used to things being everywhere. Kids make life a little messy. But we can work together to have clean common areas before bed, if that makes you feel better.”

Lucifer nodded, contemplative.

~*~

Chloe drove them back to her house that night and dragged Lucifer up to bed with her. Neither was really in the mood for anything other than cuddling and they fell asleep together, both mulling over the events of the day.

Chloe woke in the middle of the night, sweating, and moved away from Lucifer’s intense body heat. She could never understand why men were furnaces. She stared at him, watching his eyes twitch under the lids as he dreamed. He was adorable in his sleep and she wished she could stay awake watching him but the soft sheets were lulling her back to sleep. She reached out with her toes and slid her foot over his leg, trusting that she would feel him move if he woke up before her.

Hours later, Lucifer blinked awake. He curled himself around Chloe’s hand that was stretched out to his side of the bed. She had rolled away from him in the night and was now sprawled across most of the bed. He interlaced fingers with her and kissed the back of her hand softly before resting his cheek against her knuckles. He would never admit it in front of Maze, but this was his favorite part of their relationship. Being allowed to freely give and receive affection like this… it was unlike anything he’d ever experienced. He let his eyelids fall closed again and drifted back into a light sleep, nuzzling the hand he had captured.

~*~

Time continued to pass, days at work, nights entertaining the spawn. He was growing more used to interviewing suspects without his mojo, and while his depression crept back in frequently, he was learning to be more vocal about needing help. He often spent late night hours chatting with Chloe about plans for the future and ways to deal with his suddenly aging body.

He was in the middle of a conversation with Ella when he felt arms wrap around his waist from behind. A head pressed deeply into his right shoulder blade.

“Detective?” He inquired as he ran his fingertips along her arm, stroking softly.

“I just need a minute,” he heard from his back, but the voice was not that of his strong independent detective but rather the sad voice of his obviously upset girlfriend. He heart jumped at the drastic change in her demeanor. She had been fine that morning on their ride in to work, what could have happened to cause this change? He tried to turn but her arms tightened around him. Resigned, he sighed and went back to his conversation with Ella, who now had a large but sad grin on her face. After a few minutes, the arms relaxed and Chloe stepped away, headed back out the door.

He turned quickly and tugged her jacket before she could leave. She hesitated but it was obvious she was too emotional to talk. He ducked down and kissed just below her ear, “love you darling” he whispered and then he turned back to Ella and left Chloe to sort out her emotions.

Chloe went to the vending machine and just stared at it. Lucifer was adorable sometimes. And so soft. She looked up into the machine and couldn’t help but laugh at the $100 somehow taped to the inside of the glass at the top. He used to be able to use his telekinesis to pull this same trick but without it he’d been forced to get creative. And by that, I mean he asked Trixie for help. Together they had sneakily designed a flexible long pole that stiffened when air was blown into it. At first Chloe had freaked out that they were building something with that kind of mechanics, but she trusted Lucifer (she kept that mantra going the whole weekend). Trixie would be delighted that it worked.

Lucifer walked up to her and ran his knuckles along her arm, startling her out of her reverie.

_You ok? _He looked at her imploringly.

_Better now._ She smiled and returned his gesture by stroking along the side of his face, which he leaned into. “There was a baby in a case that Rodriguez is working… she was so small…Rodriguez is asking for our help.”

He tugged her gently and she folded into his arms, hiding her quiet tears against the inside edge of his jacket.

“I’m so sorry darling.”

When she had composed herself again, they walked out to her desk and he took the file from in front of her computer. Without a word, he started to review all the evidence, looking for any clues to avenge the poor child, and by proxy the pain this event was causing Chloe.

“Has anyone interviewed the grandmother?”

“No…. why? What do you see?”

“She claimed was supposed to baby sit last month but when the child went missing she traveled to Laughlin instead. That doesn’t strike me as normal grandmother behavior.”

Chloe looked up at him and they shared a single thought before grabbing her coat and gun and following him to the parking lot.

~*~

Without his desire mojo and angelic metabolism, Lucifer had settled down, much the way a person calms the further they get in age from their 20s. He was taking time to enjoy the things in life that he desired most, namely good food and good company. He didn’t spend time drinking or smoking, since he knew it would drain his lifespan, now that he had one, and he wasn’t eager to be on the wrong side of hell. He made dinner most nights of the week, testing out a variety of foods on his newfound family. They played games and went on walks and other day trips around southern California exploring places he’d never even thought to go.

_I get it now, _he thought. _I get why humans were put on this earth._

He and Chloe were out on a vacation day, enjoying the beach and the quiet when the Detective got a call from the school. It was one of those automated messages telling them that Trixie had missed 4th, 5th, and 6th period today. Dan should have been picking her up so they texted Dan only to receive a panicked reply. Trixie hadn’t been in the normal place after school and she wasn’t picking up her phone. Chloe tried calling, but there was no answer. Lucifer called, and had Maze also call, to which Maze decided _Fuck it, it’s easier just to track the phone_.

The phone was found discarded outside of the convenient store near the school and suddenly the hunt was on.

Lucifer dropped off Chloe at the precinct to meet up with Dan and use their police advantage. Lucifer sped to meet up with Maze and work the dark side of the streets, “convincing” people to share any information they could have. He may have lost his superhuman strength but he wasn’t weak, and he _knew_ how to make people talk.

~

Hours passed before they got a lead on the bad guy and Lucifer was alight with anxiety and anger. If he had still had his devil face it would likely be permanently stuck from this ordeal. When they arrived at the abandoned house, Maze was first out the car door and busting straight through a house window. He could see her spinning and annihilating several men at once. Lucifer went around to the back, looking for any clue as to where the child might be, if she were in the house Maze would get there first but if she weren’t…

He grabbed an axe and smashed open a lock on a shed door with a sinking feeling.

Inside was Beatrice.

Bleeding profusely.

Not moving.


	8. Hospital Part 1 of 2

He remembered scooping Beatrice up and holding her close but the rest…

The rest of what happened was a blur.

Maze shoved him in a vehicle, driving like the demon she was to the nearest hospital.

People swarmed them as he held her in his arms, tightly keeping pressure on the deep gash in her leg.

He focused for a moment as he noticed they were suddenly in a hospital, and people were trying to take Beatrice from him. There was _so much_ noise.

He couldn’t let them take her. He had to _protect_ her.

“She’s bleeding out, and we won’t have enough to match her type, we’re low on O-.” A nurse’s voice from somewhere to his left, sent him into a panic. Gently, he lowered Beatrice onto a gurney they set in front of him.

His breath caught in his chest as he saw how pale she was, he couldn’t lose her. She was still so young.

He grabbed a doctor’s arm as she started to wheel Beatrice to the operating room. “I’m O negative, I can donate, she can… can you transfuse what she needs from me to her?”

“She needs a LOT of blood sir, it would put you at risk.” The doctor looked skeptical, hesitant.

“Please, I’ll do anything. She’s… I want to save her. I don’t care about me,” he pleaded. Maze looked on from the sidelines, having called Chloe and Dan, there was nothing else she could really do.

“Ok, Jenna get him the form and get him to OR-8, we need to MOVE.”

Lucifer quickly signed the blank form and rushed after Beatrice’s team. Maze could handle any of the nurse’s questions; he had a job to do. He had to keep light in that little girl. She was the only child to have ever stared the Devil in the face and hugged him. She was so inhumanly clever and kind and gentle. He couldn’t let her down.

~

Chloe arrived at the hospital 25 minutes later with Dan and Ella in tow. She rushed to the front desk for news but they rebuffed her.

“I’m a cop!” she yelled.

“Ma’am, you need to sit down. You’re daughter and husband are still in the OR and –“

“I need to know what’s – HUSBAND? I’m not married. And Dan’s right here. Who is in there with her?” Chloe couldn’t stop her heart from pounding in her chest. Maze stepped up and grabbed Chloe by the shoulder, “Lucifer’s giving the Spawn his blood, she’s going to be fine. They will both be fine.” _They have to be fine, _she thought. Chloe sat down in the chair next to Dan and leaned her head against his arm, tapping her foot on the floor.

~

It was an hour of waiting but it felt like an eternity. Chloe couldn’t sit still and kept travelling all the floors trying to be occupied. She stopped at the wing of the hospital that housed the newborn babies, surprised to see Maze staring through the window and the little sleeping bundles.

“Never thought I’d find you in this section…”

“Was Trixie ever that small?” Maze asked without looking away from the glass.

“Yeah, of course. She was a tiny baby, Dan could almost fit her in just his hands.”

“She is going to be okay, right? You humans are so fragile. Lucifer’s fragile now too and he just charged right in there. Wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

Chloe didn’t have an answer. She had the same concerns. “We should head back, maybe they’ll have an update for us.”

Maze finally looked up at Chloe, eyes completely red and watery. Chloe hadn’t seen how much blood Trixie had lost. The doctors told her it was just a cut on the leg and a fairly routine cauterize and seal procedure, but Maze knew better. The amount of blood that had leaked out of the tiny human… it was all over the floor. The back seat of the car. Lucifer’s clothes. It was everywhere. There had been so much blood from such a tiny human.

Maze just nodded and followed Chloe back to the waiting room. She couldn’t bring herself to tell her friend the chances were low. And the longer it took them in that OR, the more Maze feared for the worst.

~

Meanwhile, Lucifer watched as the blood travelled the tube from his arm to Beatrice’s arm. He couldn’t see much with the amount of doctors and nurses surrounding the child but he caught glimpses of her face, peaceful in sleep though whiter than he’d ever seen it. He willed his blood to move to her faster, praying in his head for his blood to keep the little girl alive, to heal the wounds that had been unable to prevent. Guilt tore at him, though he knew logically that there was no way for him to have known that she would be kidnapped, he still felt that he should have _done something_, that _he should have felt it._

He was too far away reach out and touch her.

He could barely even move his arm.

The blood flowed quickly from his body, leaving him feeling light headed. The world started to darken as he kept praying for Beatrice’s safety.


	9. Hospital part 2 of 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the people who leave comments, THANK YOU. Comments make me work faster.

Unbenowst to Lucifer, or anyone in the room really, a ball of light appeared next to him. God.

The truth of what had happened with Michael and “God” and the removal of Lucifer’s grace had gotten back to the real deity. Metatron had impersonated God. Taken a form and called himself God and spoke in Gods voice. But God didn’t take forms in such a way. And God did not so much “speak” as imprint emotions and ideas and images into the minds of others. As a formless, genderless, ball of energy, God had a real problem communicating with all these children.

God believed Metatron had understood the message, Lucifer, Devil, No More. Lucifer was not to be considered condemned or forced to rule Hell any longer. He was meant to live life on earth, with his new found family. Metatron had not understood. Neither had Michael. Nor any of the angels in Heaven.

Sighing, or the best approximation of a sigh from such a form, God reached a tendril of energy into Lucifer’s chest and restored his angelic grace.

_Miracle, distance, pain, bad._ God fixed that little vulnerability while correcting the other mistake. Best not to let the favorite son keep throwing himself into danger in such a weakened state.

God floated, waiting, as the doctors rushed to seal up the child’s wounds. Blood continued to rush from Lucifer to Beatrice but now that there was grace flowing through his body, Lucifer was making blood faster and the supply flowed freely.

Color returned to both their skins and Lucifer’s breathing evened out as he fell into a relaxed sleep.

A nurse whispered into the huddled mass of bodies, “I don’t know why, but they are suddenly stabilizing. Both of them. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Must be a miracle.” A doctor replied without the same reverence the nurse had held. He’d seen miracles before, they never lasted. “Let’s just wrap this up and send them to the recovery room.” He stitched the wounds closed roughly and left the rest to the nurses. Out of the corner of his eye, he could swear he saw a light, but when he turned it was gone.

~

A tall, handsome male nurse walked into the waiting room, smiling at Ella. She flushed and then remembered why she was here and glared at him.

“For Lucifer & Beatrice?” He asked, making sure he had the right group. They all stood up and gathered around, eager for the news. “They just moved out of the OR, everything is looking good so far. We’re waiting a bit to make sure they both stay stable and then they’ll be moved into room 315. We have someone cleaning up the space right now and they’ll let you know when you can go in.”

“How much blood did she lose?” Dan asked.

“Actually…” the nurse hesitated, the situation was scary enough without knowing the details. Maybe he shouldn’t tell them. “It was more than we had on hand, so we’re grateful for the help of Mr. Morningstar, but it couldn’t have been too bad since he seems to be recovering without signs of having lost too much blood himself. I’m sure it looked worse than it was at the scene.”

Maze tracked his gaze, noticing the lie. Obviously it had been a LOT of blood.

“The doctor’s are calling it a miracle.”

Maze looked at Chloe. Noticing the change in her face as well. It was definitely a miracle. “You said 315?” Maze was on her way before the nurse even had a chance to answer in the affirmative. She needed to see for herself that Lucifer was ok.

Chloe picked up the questioning, “Is she going to be ok? Is there any permanent damage? What about any other kinds of wounds, I didn’t hear if she was hurt anywhere else…”

“She’s going to be fine. The doctor will let you know when he comes out if there is anything else to be worried about but for now, they’re both recovering and the doctor had to go directly to another surgery.”

“Thank you.”

It took 30 minutes for them to be allowed up to the room. Maze was standing guard at the end of the beds, having pushed her way into the recovery area and stalking them the entire time. Chloe felt oddly calmed by the thought of her roommate being so protective of her child.

~

Hours later, in the middle of the night, Lucifer awoke to the smell of hospital sterilization and beeping noises. A lamp was on in the corner of the room and Chloe was sitting on a small bench reading. Her eyes were red, she’d obviously been crying, but he could see Beatrice sleeping peacefully on the bed between them, so he didn’t worry too much.

“hey” he whispered, staring at Chloe lovingly.

“Hey yourself, how are you feeling?” Chloe jumped up from her spot and moved to the chair right next to his bed. She took his hand, looking over his face with worry. “You had me worried Satan.”

Lucifer inhaled softly and took Chloe’s hand in his own, “Didn’t mean to scare you. I love you.”

Chloe smiled and leaned forward over his chest, kissing him soundly, “I love you too.” She kissed him again for good measure before sitting back into her chair. “You saved her life you know…”

“She saved mine first.”

“She loves you. And now that she’s got your blood in her veins it’s a little like you adopted her.” Chloe smiled, watching his face closely for the look of shock and alarm she knew would come.

“I did not!” He said it indignantly, but he was smiling and he couldn’t help but glance at the urchin.

“You kinda did.” She gripped his hand tighter and laughed at the look on his face.

“She’s a good little spawn, I couldn’t risk losing someone who keeps Maze on her toes.” Lucifer mumbled trying to save face as the exhaustion from the day took hold again.

“Sleep Lucifer, I’ll be right here when you wake up.” She passed a hand through his hair as he closed his eyes, relaxing.


	10. New Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I've lost the train of this story and it might be going a little sideways, but I'm almost done. Thanks to those who left comments, they are reminders every time I sign in that I need to post the remaining chapters.

Trixie woke up with a ton of energy. She had lots of energy normally, but this was different, this was so much more. She jumped up out of bed and looked around the hospital room. Lucifer was snoring in a bed next to her and her dad was passed out in the far corner chair. She got up on the bed and bounced lightly, having the urge to jump off the bed.

She saw her mom coming into the room and shouted, “MOM, look!” and she jumped from the bed toward her mom and tiny wings sprouted out of her back as she flew into her mom’s arms. “Mom, I feel so good! What happened? I only remember being scared by those creepy people.”

“You were kidnapped monkey, you were hurt –“ Chloe stopped as she noticed the tiny wings spreading out from Trixie’s back, fluttering. “Lucifer gave you a blood transfusion, and it looks like you are feeling the effects of angel blood.”

“That’s so cool!!!!” Trixie excitedly flapped her wings and turned around looking at Lucifer.

Lucifer blinked awake at the sound of flapping and his eyes widened at the sight of Beatrice with wings. “Beatrice, come, let me help you hide those before someone sees.” He was still surprised by the existence of the wings but one issue at a time.

Trixie climbed up onto his bed, turning so that her wings were pointed to Lucifer. She felt him run a hand gently along her spine, and light pressure on the top of her wing shoulders. She thought hard about how she would like to hide them so she wouldn’t get in trouble. The wings felt twitchy but they folded into her back through her shirt. She turned back and fell purposefully forward on Lucifer’s chest and hugged him. “Thank you Lucifer! I love you.”

Lucifer choked up a bit at the hug and the words, hugging her back fiercely as he relaxed into the bed. Chloe smiled at him and joined the two on the bed, though it was a little cramped.

“So… I have wings now.” Trixie said looking up Lucifer. “Are they going to get bigger? Can I go flying? Will you teach me how to fly?”  
  
“Urchin, I don’t know how long these will last,” Lucifer hedged. “I will gladly take you flying if I have my wings back but as your blood regenerates, you may lose the angelic nature that came with my blood. Which,… I’m not quite sure how that happened since I was made human not long ago. There should have been no grace left in me but… I can feel it there now. And we can clearly see it in you.”

Trixie thought for a moment before settling on the only thing that seemed to work. “Maybe your dad changed his mind and gave you your powers back?”

“My father would never do such a thing….” _But it was the only thing that made sense._

Trixie hugged him harder, laying against his chest. “Well, I’m glad you’re okay, no matter how it happened. Thank you for saving me Lucifer.”

Lucifer stroked her back over the wing pockets, calming the child and breathing deeply. He didn’t know what to think but he agreed that they could leave it for now.

A snore interrupted their moment and Trixie looked over at her dad. As much as she loved him, she was finding more and more reasons to look to Lucifer as a father figure. Her dad tended to forget her at school, or miss out on Taco Tuesday, or cancel their weekend plans. She loved him, but he just wasn’t as _there_ as he used to be.

She could feel Lucifer falling asleep below her, still stroking her back and keeping the wings in. She could still feel them, they were calm now, but it didn’t feel like they were going away. Hoping that they would still be there when she woke up, she tucked her face into Lucifer’s warm chest and let herself drift off to sleep.

~

Lucifer dreamed of flying.

He dreamed he had his grace and his wings back. And his siblings were hunting him down. And demons were hunting his family.

Being the devil sucked.

Everyone wanted him to use his powers to return to hell and keep the demons in line. Demons who wanted their king back. Demons would kill anyone in their way. His siblings would do anything short of killing humans to get him to go back. Not like they would bloody well share the load and run hell for a few millennia each.

His brain stuck on one main thought… he didn’t want to go.

He wanted to stay here with his family.

He wanted to be normal.

_He had just bloody gotten used to it._

When he woke up again, it was quiet in the room. Everyone had left, and though the bed next to his was empty, there were still obvious signs that the child hadn’t been checked out yet.

He waited, clicking a pen, twirling cords between his fingers, staring at the ceiling tiles. He didn’t know where his phone was and this room was so boring. He tried buzzing a nurse but no one had responded yet.

It felt like hours.

Finally, he heard the squeals of Beatrice down the hall.

He leaned back and tried to look calm. That only lasted until he saw Chloe smiling at him through the door. His heart started to race and he found himself smiling like a fool back at her. Daniel walked in with Beatrice on his back.

“You ready to blow this joint?”

“Yes, please! Who do I have to –“ he saw the look Chloe gave him, “um… talk to in order to get out of here?”

Chloe smiled and turned to leave, “I’ll go get someone.” His expression wilted as she left his sight again. It seemed ridiculous to miss her already. Truly ridiculous.


End file.
